Following the previous post I shared, I feel there’s a bit more to expand upon. There’s only so much you can jam into a single article before losing cohesiveness/interest. Let’s expand on the super glue of life.
That said, the topic of relevance here revolves around one’s purpose and the factors that craft it. Things such as dedication, consistency, and more will be pillars for my thoughts around molding a high-value and purpose driven frame.
As males, we can all benefit from this mindset shift.
I’m a firm believer that dedication is the glue that molds an average dude into a great one. Look at virtually anyone of measurable and well-defined success today.
What made them stand out from others?
Why did they achieve their success where others slowly slipped away?
These questions and more all revolve around a common theme that’s present in virtually every well to do male, dedication. The day in and day out pursuit of our dream/passion is what fills our lives with purpose. Setting clear boundaries and protecting our most precious commodity (time) allows us to maximize the small window each of us has in our respective walks of life.
We most certainly don’t want to end up on our death beds wondering about a plethora of “what if’s“. Everyone wants their lives to have impact and accomplishments to showcase it. We routinely graze over the most important pillar to achieving that frame though. It’s dedication and it takes work.
The work I’m referring to is not what you may think.
A majority of the tasks you’ll find highly effective males do are all on a surface level seemingly trite or crass. Things such as working out, implementing a routine, ensuring self care – boring stuff, I know.
But, these areas are actually where the majority of progress is made and siphons into more important areas of our lives and beings. As humans, we’re all routine based people. Each day, you follow one whether you realize it or not. That’s just the way it is, we’re all wired to operate this way.
Crafting a purpose-driven routine is where most fall short.
Let’s picture Gerald. Gerald is a man who has followed a fitness regiment for 1 year straight without interruption. He goes to the gym regardless of how he feels because he wants to enjoy the after effects of good fitness/health.
In doing this, Gerald achieved something few males do. He made a plan, stuck with it and put the work in regardless of how he felt. His purpose was simply bringing all the positive after effects of good fitness/health into his life daily.
By following this regiment, Gerald trained himself both mentally and physically that he can achieve what he sets his mind on. He eventually went on to enjoy more happiness in day-day life and got promoted at his job.
The positive after effects of working out siphoned into his well being and outlook towards life. Not only did Gerald gain more energy/enthusiasm than his peers, he was profoundly more energetic in the work environment and even received a promotion.
Many think there’s some “hack” to get places in life.
That mindset is a deterrent. As males, we’re wired to follow a routine and gradually build upon smaller blocks until we reach/surpass the initial goals made at our respective starting points. No one gets out of this process.
The point in which we understand this will be the point where things start to look quite different for each of us.
Dedication crafts the man.
Power of Consistency
There’s a famous quote out there and it goes a bit like this.
“If you are persistent, you will get it. If you are consistent, you will keep it.”
Very true statement, consistency is king.
Crafting a level of consistency that works for each of us can vary. As we’re all unique in our own ways, there’s certain primers/motivators that can influence each of us differently.
In general, I can say for myself I’ve found the following factors to be the most influential. I wrote about this a bit more in depth here as well.
- WTF moment – ex: (I do not like the way my body looks, I should do something about it today).
- Recollection and drive – ex: (Remember what you used to look like?)
- Routine – ex: (You may not like it, but this is what needs to be done today).
The WTF moment is a big catalyst/primer for me in making longer term changes. I’ve found routinely through trial and error, some of the bigger changes I’ve had stick in my life had this characteristic in common.
For examples sake, one of the biggest ones I can relate it to is fitness.
I used to be the guy who cared nothing about fitness and thought it was one of those things I just wasn’t meant to grasp/maintain. One day, I woke up after buying a new pair of pants (that were size 40 waist btw) and looked at myself and said WTF. It was a turning point that trickled down into the other factors listed above.
The truth is, we have to learn from experience and having moments like these to make necessary changes in our lives that impact them on a longer term horizon. It’s not about taking a few months to redefine ourselves and slipping back into our old ways.
It’s a genuine mindset change that alters our perception of ourselves and the selves we want to become. This takes lots of reflection and daily work in order to be successful. There’s no silver platter waiting for you to hand it out. You have to want it, work for it, and own it.
If one can think through this lenses and tackle fitness, I’m pretty confident in the fact this dips down in other areas of their lives. Each of which, reaps a significant ROI. For me, it’s certainly been the case.
Let’s discuss more what I’m getting at.
The inner bitch in us would have a field day with the heading of this section.
However, it’s really important.
Understanding our own psychology is the first step. Crafting a high value and purpose driven frame comes from within. It takes some digging and replacing of a lot of rudimentary beliefs that we’ve been taught through life.
If we boil down and strip back the layers, we’ll find more often than not – a lot of our actions/inaction stems from simply trying to prove ourselves in some way. In psychology, usually the opposite is true and it’s no different in this case.
The reality is most people use their careers, status, income/wealth, and other things to make up for an area of which they’re lacking. In doing that, they simply live a lie and rely on these outlets to make up their identity. Imagine when these outlets are removed?
By needing to prove oneself even if you don’t realize you’re doing it, you completely miss the point. You have to be selfish and find your purpose and pursue it as if everything depends on it.
Relationships may be lost in doing this, but they were likely never that great for you to begin with. There’s a reason why social circles are smaller amongst highly effective people. Only a certain few are allowed into their lives and they aren’t afraid to let the bad apples go.
Be selfish and take priority in your purpose. You’ll find the majority of “proving yourself” will be communicated without speaking a word.